Whilst looking through some of my Google News RSS feeds I noticed a press release that made me groan, laugh, and angry…all at the same time. Who is marketing writing these press releases for anyway? They certainly aren’t writing them for the technicians implementing the products who care nothing for the buzzwords and standard slime phrases, nor are they writing them for decision makers with their vague statements that don’t mean anything.
It begs the question: “Who is the target audience of your Marketing department?”
Let’s take a quick look at some recent press releases as examples:
Example 1: Original MARS Creators Set Out to Take Cisco Users Beyond CS-MARS
The Goods: The package offers a cost-effective migration option in response to those users assessing the recent Cisco policy of diminished CS-MARS support of non-Cisco devices. AccelOps’ founders, who previously created Cisco’s popular security monitoring appliance, offer a holistic monitoring approach that results in greater operational control, efficient incident response and compliance automation beyond that of current SIEMs (Security Information Event Management systems).
Leveraging a breakthrough architectural framework and dynamic Web 2.0 GUI, AccelOps combines powerful analytics engine, automated CMDB and event consolidation, intelligent anomaly detection, innovative identity and location binding, business service impact awareness and prioritization, robust search and reporting, and optimized data management for real-time and long-term data analysis.
Come on….”a holistic monitoring approach that results in greater operational control, efficient incident response and compliance automation beyond that of current SIEMs“. I suspect that if you call 10 SIEM vendors and ask them if their product provides the aforementioned “features” all 10 will say an emphatic “YES!”. Not only that, but they’ll say that they’re the only ones that do it.
Example 2: Aspect Delivers New IT-Ready Quality Management Capabilities in Productive Workforce UC Application
The Goods: PerformanceEdge® Quality Management 3.0 offers a number of features for improved business processes across multiple agents, sites and platforms. New capabilities provide cradle-to-grave interaction tracking, enhanced security and compliance, improved alerting, redundancy, system management, and increased features for outsourcers, allowing for full-time call logging and quality recording in mid- to large-sized call centers. The new features add significant value to Productive Workforce, enabling companies to leverage robust, scalable quality management.
“Cradle-to-grave interaction”….”enabling companies to leverage robust, scalable quality management”…..jeeeeeeeez. Try using some real words and not mumbo-jumbo.
Example 3: Tufin Extends Security Lifecycle Management Across the Network With Support for Devices From Juniper Networks, Cisco, HP and Others
The Goods: By extending Tufin’s comprehensive, automated change tracking, in-depth security policy optimization, and built-in compliance reports across heterogeneous network infrastructures, Tufin enables organizations to cost-effectively manage network security policy, eliminate manual, error prone processes, comply with regulatory standards, and minimize IT risk. Supporting the broadest set of network infrastructure, Tufin continues to demonstrate its ability to innovate and successfully execute on its vision for Security Lifecycle Management.
If a company couldn’t “continue to demonstrate its ability to innovate and successfully execute on its vision” it wouldn’t be in business for very long in a competitive space. Why bother writing this?
As far as I can tell these press releases are drafted for the benefit of marketing people and their competitors, not the people actually looking to purchase the products. Whenever a technical person reads over one of these press releases a little part of them dies inside whilst another part tries to keep them from vomiting a little in their mouths. Whenever a manager reads a press release they leave with more questions than they had before they read the press release. Press releases of this nature are a breeding ground for anger and confusion.
Business owners, please do everyone a favour and tell your marketing team to stop spurting stupid.